GENDER and LABOUR - Share the Load

 In this class, we well read an excerpt from a short essay by Judy Brady, an American writer, that humorously describes what it means to be a wife – to be in the service of the husband and children without expecting much in return. It shows that the roles of wife and husband are not equal and complementary. They are unequal because just by being a husband, a man has many privileges and personal services. The essay questions this male privilege in marriage and also the inequality in a husband-wife relationship. It forces us to think about new relationships that can be more equal and therefore better.

 

I WANT A WIFE!

I belong to that class of people known as wives. I am A Wife. And , not altogether incidentally, I am a mother.

Not too long ago a male friend of mine appeared on the scene fresh from a recent divorce. He had one child, who is, of course, with his ex-wife. As I thought about him while I was ironing one evening, it suddenly occurred to me that I too would like to have a wife. Why do I want a wife?

I would like to join new courses (in college) which will improve my chances of promotion so that I can become economically independent, support myself, and, if need be, support those dependent upon me. I want a wife who will work, earn, and send me to these classes.

And while I am attending the classes. I want a wife to take care of my children eat properly and make sure my children eat properly and are kept clean. I want a wife who will wash the children’s clothes and keep them mended. I want a wife who is good and nurturing attendant to my children, who arranges for their schooling, makes sure that they have an adequate social life with their peers, takes them to the park, the zoo, etc. I want a wife who takes care of the children when they are sick, a wife who arranges to be around when the children need special care, because, of course, I cannot miss my classes. My wife must arrange to lose time at work and not lose the job. It would be good and if my in-laws could join us and take care of the children while my wife is working.

I want a wife who will take care of my physical needs. I want a wife who will keep my house clean, a wife who will tidy up after my children, a wife who will tidy up after me. I want a wife who will keep my clothes clean, ironed, mended, replaced when need be, and who will see to it that my personal things are kept in their proper place so that I can find what I need the minute I need it.

I want a wife who will take care of my parents well. When they stay with us, I want a wife who will take care of their everyday needs and food preferences. I want a wife who will keep the house clean, will prepare special meals, serve them to me and my family. I want a wife who takes care of all the needs of my parents so that they feel comfortable and who makes sure that they have everything. I want a wife who known that sometimes I need a night out by myself.

I want a wife who is sensitive to my sexual needs, a wife who makes love passionately and eagerly when I feel like it, a wife who makes sure that I am satisfied. And, of course, I want a wife who will not demand sexual attention when I am not in the mood for it. I want a wife who assumes complete responsibility for birth control, because I do not want more children.

If, by chance, I find another person more suitable as a wife than the wife I already have, I want the liberty to replace my present wife with another one. Naturally, I will expect a fresh, new life; my wife will take the children and be solely responsible for them so that I am left here.

When I am through with my new course and have a job, I want my wife to quit working and remain at home so that my wife can more fully and completely take care of a wife’s duties. My God, who wouldn’t want a wife?

You may become the first Indian woman CEO of PepsiCo. Even then your priority should be to buy milk for the household!

This is about 14 years ago… And I got a call about 9.30 in the night from the existing chairman and CEO at that time. He said, Indra, we’re going to announce you as president and put you on the board of directors… I got home at about 10, got into the garage, and my mother was waiting at the top of the stairs. And I said, “Mom, I’ve got great news for you.” She said, “Let the news wait. Can you go out and get some milk.” So, like a dutiful daughter, I went out and came back… I banged it on the counter and I said, “I had a great news for you. I’ve just been told that I am going to be President on the Board of Directors. And all that you want me to do is to go out and get the milk, what kind of a mom are you?” And she said to me, “Let me explain something to you. You might be president of PepsiCo. You might be on board of directors. But when you enter this house, you’re a wife, you’re a daughter-in-law, you’re a mother.”