In this class, we well read an
excerpt from a short essay by Judy Brady, an American writer, that humorously
describes what it means to be a wife – to be in the service of the husband and
children without expecting much in return. It shows that the roles of wife and
husband are not equal and complementary. They are unequal because just by being
a husband, a man has many privileges and personal services. The essay questions
this male privilege in marriage and also the inequality in a husband-wife
relationship. It forces us to think about new relationships that can be more
equal and therefore better.
I WANT A WIFE!
I belong to that class of people known as
wives. I am A Wife. And , not altogether incidentally, I am a mother.
Not too long ago a male friend of mine
appeared on the scene fresh from a recent divorce. He had one child, who is, of
course, with his ex-wife. As I thought about him while I was ironing one
evening, it suddenly occurred to me that I too would like to have a wife. Why do
I want a wife?
I would like to join new courses (in
college) which will improve my chances of promotion so that I can become
economically independent, support myself, and, if need be, support those
dependent upon me. I want a wife who will work, earn, and send me to these
classes.
And while I am attending the classes. I want
a wife to take care of my children eat properly and make sure my children eat
properly and are kept clean. I want a wife who will wash the children’s clothes
and keep them mended. I want a wife who is good and nurturing attendant to my
children, who arranges for their schooling, makes sure that they have an
adequate social life with their peers, takes them to the park, the zoo, etc. I want
a wife who takes care of the children when they are sick, a wife who arranges
to be around when the children need special care, because, of course, I cannot
miss my classes. My wife must arrange to lose time at work and not lose the job.
It would be good and if my in-laws could join us and take care of the children
while my wife is working.
I want a wife who will take care of my
physical needs. I want a wife who will keep my house clean, a wife who will tidy
up after my children, a wife who will tidy up after me. I want a wife who will
keep my clothes clean, ironed, mended, replaced when need be, and who will see
to it that my personal things are kept in their proper place so that I can find
what I need the minute I need it.
I want a wife who will take care of my
parents well. When they stay with us, I want a wife who will take care of their
everyday needs and food preferences. I want a wife who will keep the house
clean, will prepare special meals, serve them to me and my family. I want a
wife who takes care of all the needs of my parents so that they feel
comfortable and who makes sure that they have everything. I want a wife who
known that sometimes I need a night out by myself.
I want a wife who is sensitive to my
sexual needs, a wife who makes love passionately and eagerly when I feel like
it, a wife who makes sure that I am satisfied. And, of course, I want a wife who
will not demand sexual attention when I am not in the mood for it. I want a
wife who assumes complete responsibility for birth control, because I do not
want more children.
If, by chance, I find another person more
suitable as a wife than the wife I already have, I want the liberty to replace
my present wife with another one. Naturally, I will expect a fresh, new life;
my wife will take the children and be solely responsible for them so that I am
left here.
When I am through with my new course and
have a job, I want my wife to quit working and remain at home so that my wife
can more fully and completely take care of a wife’s duties. My God, who wouldn’t
want a wife?
You may become the first Indian woman CEO
of PepsiCo. Even then your priority should be to buy milk for the
household!
This is about 14 years ago… And I got a
call about 9.30 in the night from the existing chairman and CEO at that time. He
said, Indra, we’re going to announce you as president and put you on the board
of directors… I got home at about 10, got into the garage, and my mother was
waiting at the top of the stairs. And I said, “Mom, I’ve got great news for
you.” She said, “Let the news wait. Can you go out and get some milk.” So, like
a dutiful daughter, I went out and came back… I banged it on the counter and I said,
“I had a great news for you. I’ve just been told that I am going to be
President on the Board of Directors. And all that you want me to do is to go
out and get the milk, what kind of a mom are you?” And she said to me, “Let me
explain something to you. You might be president of PepsiCo. You might be on
board of directors. But when you enter this house, you’re a wife, you’re a
daughter-in-law, you’re a mother.”
